what's the point

sometimes there comes a point where I just felt like everything I've done so far comes down to nothing by the end of the day. It's like no matter how hard u tried to make it work, it kept turning you down, so easily like it meant nothing.

My mood swings too easily nowadays. For one minute, I can be cheerful, the next, I'm all down and just doesn't feel like doing anything.

what's the point of living like that really? You know how there are always songs that speaks of wanting to break out and live a new life, how their life sucks and all. I bet you they'll mean nothing to you IF you're not in misery or feeling like life's useless...simply because you haven't been to that point where your life seems so damn insignificant and having no purpose.

How do we live like that? I envy those who doesn't seem to have any problems with that. Why can they be so satisfied? Why can they live so damn moderately like that? How do they live day by day doing the same thing and not be bored to hell with it?

I can't live like that, I'll go crazy.

I have no resolution whatsoever at this moment. And it doesn't seem to be getting any brighter as it goes.

I dread

You know, I dreaded this day to arrive. I really do. I mean, one week of hols is just not enough. I miss home. I miss it dearly now. (I'm now in my 6 feet sq hostel) T_T

This morning, i just couldn't bring myself to wake up. I just wanted to lie down on my bed and wished the time will like just stop moving forward. And I kept on punching the snooze on my alarm! That's total denial man! And I turned and turned and snuggled and tried to sleep again.

I don't have the mood anymore. My Japanese test is tomorrow and well, I did study during the hols at home, but now, I just didn't feel like touching it.

My anticipation now would be for November to arrive coz then it'll be the finals and then I'll be back home. I might stay back for a while IF my other friends are staying back for our thesis but the longest would be just one week. Yes, I seriously don't want to stay back here in this empty college. And i need home.

But the best would be that I won't need to stay! xD I hope la. I haven't even booked my tickets yet. >.<

Ugh....I don't look forward to tomorrow, somehow. Can the day just last a little longer? For once?

goosebumps!

yes yes yes, when I told my mum that i was looking for Hindi films to buy (whether ciplak or not la...) she was like " why would you want to buy Hindi films? Didn't you have a lot of other things to watch already? (I know she meant my HK dramas, english series/ movies and most of all, my Jpnese dramas lol)

But see, it's been years, I just found out that the last Hindi movie I've seen was that Kabhi Kushi Kabhi Gham which was 7 years ago. It's not 3, it's not 5, but SEVEN! It then occured to me how friggin young I was back then! Those were the times where they still show Bollywood stuffs on national TV, ok. Nowadays, I think it's very rare already...wherever you go, you see Korean (even now that phase is almost fading away though) or those local/Singaporean dramas. Even my mum was kinda into them now. Not that I have anything to complain about Sgporean series though, but I just seldom watch it, unless they're really really good.



Oh back to the tpoic in hand, I chose Goosebumps as title this time coz I spent 3 hours watching this movie, Fanaa last midnight, literally having goosebumps. I mentioned this movie before in my blog, ages ago, and I told myself I shall watch it when it comes out. Somehow, with all my other activities in uni and life, I'd forgotten about it!

So, yesterday I went to Speedy and got this movie. Well, I didn't expect to find it on the shelves but it was so right there, and I grabbed it.It's not DVD though,only VCD version but still...

So i watched it till 3+ am this morning. You know la, most Hindi movies are like 3-4 hrs long with all the singing in the middle of the field, even desert! But this movie's soundtrack is fab.

Story tells of a simple, blind Indian girl (i think) well they have Pakistan, Kashmir and India in the movie, so i might confuse myself as to their nationality, but yeah, Indian la. The guy was Kashimiri. So she went to New Delhi with this dance group (they were to perform at some independence day function) and there, she met this hot, flirtish handsome guy who was their tourist guide. Rehan.

Being blind, and having most of her entire life spent in the mountains with her parents, no doubt she'd be awed and fascinated by this guy. And Rehan also had his eyes on her but since his *jumping from one girl to another girl* story was well known, her friends were against her relationship with him. This didn't stop Rehan though.




He took her around Delhi for sightseeing (despite her being blind) he found a way for her to feel the real colours of Delhi. But it was evident by his expressions that he had a dark secret which will be revealed later in the movie. So this is where I end the summary. I can't help but be amazed by the way Yash Chopra (director) filmed this movie. The way he captured the city, the facial expressions of the characters, the colours of India and etc...breathtaking. even if it's a simple shot, but he made every scene worth watching.

And like seriously, I get goosebumps whenever I see Rehan and Zooni (the blind girl) interacts! Sparkling chemistry lol...this is their first time as on-screen couple (Aamir Khan and Kajol) and I was kinda doubtful that they can project their emotions like how SRK can. But oh I was wrong. They were awesome in there. Aamir with his bloodshot eyes (he's great in crying scenes too).



And I got the most goosebumps where they had this sweet scene where Rehan was like setting up the small tiny table to have a nice quiet dinner with her when the rain started falling. (it was funny) but then it turned totally like " wow" when they were umm....ya know in the rain. Well, they can sing and dance all they want anywhere, practically and still make it look hot. But this particular scene is great, gives me goosebumps, i can literally feel my hair standing up! ^^

The songs were great, and really matches with their scenes and the scenery, beautiful. And can I say how much I liked that little kid who plays Junior Rehan, he's so damn cute. I don't always like kids, but I like kids who are obedient so, there.

The ending was...T_T haha...i kinda saw it coming but like ah...Since the title is Fanaa which basically means something like " destroyed in love". Tragic xD

I don't usually get to feel for the characters especially when it comes to romance (I'm more into other stuffs) and with the way the Hollywoods are making their romantic films (most) I just failed to feel the chemistry. But this movie made me have goosebumps! So, another good movie. And spending that 20 bucks on it was worth every CENT! lol

I am now waiting for My Name Is Khan. Yay!

bollywood!

I've always liked Hindi movies, especially after the huge hit Kuch Kuch Ho Ta Hai, starring none other than ShahRukh Khan himself and another great actress, Kajol.

I have to admit, that one movie easily made its way to the top of my Bollywood list anytime. Followed closely by Kabhi Kushi Kabhi Gham, another awesome film with the both of them, both by young director Karan Johar.

And here is thanks to Karan Johar for bringing them together in these amazing films. And ever since then, they were both said by fans to be the best onscreen couple ever (in Hindi films la) and I have nothing against that because imo, they rock whenever they're together in films xDD

Now, after several years being separate, come February 2010, they will again make an appearance in this rather serious movie named My Name Is Khan, which was shot in the US and also India.


it's basically about this Muslim guy who has Asperger syndrome and because of his inability to socialize with people, and his suspicious actions, authorities in US detained him. (it's not about terrorist or anything political i suppose, well at least I hope so ^^) and it's post 9/11 attack.

And Kajol again...his love interest who acts as a single mother living in San Fancisco.

Nice....With Karan Johar, and the two big stars, I really hope this movie will do great when it's released. xD

Yay! for more SRK and Kajol!!!

Canaan [anime]

Canaan is one of the two animes that I've been following since...2 months ago? Anyways, I have like absolutely no idea what it's all about really, the main story itself is pretty messy and kinda tough to understand as they revealed very little of the past and so I'm like lost as to who these people really are and what their motives are.

But let's put all those aside and just enjoy the scene.



I'm up to the latest episode 12 now and i have to admit, it's getting very very interesting and exciting to watch. I mean, put one freaky psycho in the story and she'll make you go crazy with her. There's this character who is so insanely in love with her *sister* and would do anything to please her and i don't know, she's just a real psycho ya know, but she's a great watch lol...this is the first time I saw such an insane character in an anime (maybe I just didn't watch much) But she tops the level of craziness xD The way she died too was a blast!

Add that to her *sister's* comment after she died. " Love is so annoying" lol...And this brings to another two main characters, Canaan and Alphard.

I know Alphard's voice is done by Maaya Sakamoto and i like her raw voice! It fits really well to the character, cold, ignorant and feisty.



Canaan is however the main character in the show, the ultimate protagonist. But from ep12 onwards, I begin to doubt her past. she seemed to have lost part of her memories ever since the death of her master, who was the same as Alphard's. Alphard was the one who killed him, but the three of them were connected deeper, something that will be exposed soon I hope.



And ep12 is by far the BEST episode as they showcased both Alphard and Canaan's fighting scenes...like...wow....really slick moves they both got there. I don't know who to side for! Alphard may seem like the badass from ep1, constantly hunting down Canaan, but then it started to show her soft side too! (well not really but she's not as bad as she is made out to be lol)



Canaan is the protagonist of the show so i bet she has lots of supporters already. I think I' rooting for Alphard for now xDDD I don't know, her past, her claim to be born from hatred and maybe jealousy towards Canaan as her Master obviously favored Canaan more. And her coldness made me wanna know more about her. And of course her intention towards Canaan, other than killing her. xD

oh mood swing

damn pissed now. -_-

stupid printer no ink, and then i have to follow my parents balik kampung. I just think it's a waste of time to go there, coz i litrally can't do anything productive there. Except to eat eat and eat.

ugh.

those were better days~a tribute

Since the news of the breakup, I admit I am still somehow in a denial state to believe it for real. yes, I'm a hopeless jerk. And you must be thinking " get real...it's over..." Yaya, I know. Young married couples never last long (most though) and especially Hollywood couples. So this shouldn't come as a huge surprise when the tabloids and media had been speculating for so long.

But anyways enough of the whole crappy news. Let's just briefly recap their happier moments together. (Yes, I am this eng...felt so tired after working on the journal).

I'm not too sure on the details of how they started out but from my little knowledge, it seems in 2004, they started hanging out together as friends, then gradually they moved deeper into a relationship. Before Deryck, Avril had been in a brief relationship with her guitarist ( i forgot his name lol...but no, it's not that Evan who I liked very much^^) That didn't last long. And just fyi, Deryck was with non other than the heires Paris Hilton. Don't even ask me how that happened lol...but it was awkward to think they were together before. Anyways, after two years of dating, Avril and Deryck decided to tie the knot. She was 21 and Deryck 25 (i think).





And even though they were both punk-rockers, (well Av's not, but her hubby is) they opted for a traditional wedding, with everything white, and held in a very nice cosy backyard with only close relatives and friends.




These were indeed the happier days of them together. I mean, whenever I see them together, i feel happy for both of them to have found each other. Of course I wouldn't know what happens behind the scene or what they were both thinking in their minds in these pictures, but they looked genuinely happy and hopelessly in love.



And my best memories of seeing them together weren't the outings or partyings or events, but the fact that they shop just like normal couples for food, household stuffs, you know. That's very very sweet and cute to see.



Seeing them holding hands. Seeing Deryck being all gentleman like by opening the car door for her, blocking her from paparazzis, carrying all the heavier items (he does look like he needed help with that box though lol), and of course...pumping gas!



Both had the same career as musicians, both toured the world and have the same taste in music. I guess that was how they felt closer to each other in the first place. But that might also be one of the contributing factors to their breakup. Rumor has it that both didn't have enough time to be together back home, constantly touring abroad and thus gotten further apart in the process.

I tell you, there are lots of different rumors from different sources as to why they broke up. One that kept turning up was how Avril felt like she was too young to be married, and she wanted to move forward for more. Other news said how Deryck wanted a kid but *like duh...* Avril wouldn't want to have kids now when she has tonnes of other things going on for her. Deryck is 29 after all this year, so I won't be surprised if he really DID have that in mind.



Then there were other more unpleasant ones like how Deryck was seen hanging out with some other girls, and being cosy with them, then someone showed pictures to Av who obviously was pissed. Then...there was a counterattack from her lol (i made this up) but judging from her recent partying activities, she seemed to be having too much fun with some guys and acting like a single woman. I think these past few months were signs of their forthcoming breakup.


I just think it's sad to see them being hunted down by paparazzi all the time. *yeah it comes with fame and $$* Still...at some point, i think the media will put a lot of pressure on them.

Now, when it comes to finance, Avril obviously wins over her hubby. There was a show on the top earning couples or sth in Hollywood and they came in 14th place with $ 18 million. Avril bought in 13 million on income while his hubby contributed 5 million. (Well, you can't really compare coz his hubby is in a band, so their $$ has to be split among the members right?) But it's kinda obvious who is bringing in more. I wonder IF this one reason might also be the reason of their falldown. Now they're gonna have to settle their incomes and split the 9.5 million Bel Air mansion. ( i hope they keep the house though I doubt it). They might sell it off and then split the $$.

I'm not gonna take sides here. I'm a huge fan of Av's but also a listener of Sum 41's. And I knew Sum 41 first before Avril came out, had been listening to them earlier on. I don't know Deryck's character personally, but from what I've read and heard in forums and stuffs, he had changed much of his lifestyle as a punk rocker ever since he hooked up with her. How do I put it? Maybe " tamed" lol...yeah, basically he changed for the better, of course. Avril...uhmm...I don't know. It's not a secret how she can be kinda wild during parties and definitely has changed over the years. The style. And I'm not this fanatic who agreed on everything she did but still am a fan. So, whatever it is, I hope she gets better lol.

I think both of them needs some time off atm and just you know...get away from everything. I mean, separation is something that sucks for both sides. Except if they really wanted it. But fom the recent pap piccies, we see Deryck in a rather sombre state. This was AFTER the statement came out and he's STILL wearing his RING!!!!!!!!

Somehow, this might sound pathetic but this brings some hope that they might still be able to work things out. It's like hanging on to that faint light or sth...NOW, I'm hoping for some new photos of Avril, I'm curious of how she's taking it. From recent events, like her launch of AD stuffs in New York, she seemed super hyped though. Who knows, she might just break down behind the scene...T_T



Oh well...this ends my tribute. It doesn't really sound or appear like one but I'm just saying what's in my mind.

My hopes?

I wish this was just a bad nightmare and when we finally wake up, this was all a bad bad dream. Either way, if they really go their separate ways, I hope they can still stay as friends and work on their respective coming albums. Of course, I still hope they will get back together after this huge confusion. It's like Pink's case...you know? Like take some time off from each other for a while to re-think things over, and then maybe realized who's really important in their lives and then get back together. Happy ending for all. ^^

Shogun Japanese buffet

Our trip to One Utama was a pretty laidback one, until we got lost lol. My friend drove and she didn't know the way there but she had another friend of hers, whom I know little, and she was supposed to be very confident with the route, but somehow the last 10 minutes as we approached the place, she got confused as to whethr we should head into Damansara Utama, Damansara Jaya or Bandar Utama. Something like that la. So she called her aunt who lives there and so we kinda wasted around half an hour there. But it was fun, except if you're having nature calls.



we were supposed to go to either Chilis or TGI Fridays at 1U the other night for dinner but when we arrived at Chilis, we were told that we had to wait for like 1 1/2 hours in order for the buka puasa people to eat together or sth. We were like wth...so we left. Next would be TGI Fridays but then we were too lazy to walk all the way down to ground floor, we were at 2nd floor. So we searched for other options that were at the same floor and Shogun was next.

So, that was how we ended there.



Dinner buffet costs RM47 after 30% discount, i think during the fasting month though. So we started picking food, there were Thai cuisine, Chinese cuisine (dim sums etc) and of course Japanese as well as Korean. I didn't explore everything though, I just walked like 2 rounds and grabbed stuffs that look interesting and yummy.



Tempura is a must. we ate those soft small crabs thingy, with sushi and also this prawn dim sum which is the yummiest for us. We ate the most prawns that night. ^^


The lamb chop is not good. Lucky I took one small piece only, I took a bite and dumped the rest away, lol...there was this sign saying how deliberate wastage of food will be charged accordingly. So we stashed the leftovers or stuffs that were not tasty under other real rubbish. Just to hide them xD

We weren't allowed to take pictures too. But me and another friend didn't care and snapped when they're not looking xD



Oh I ate 3 escargots ^^ nice stuffs.



Then we walked around, it was already around 10pm after we finally finished eating. My friends wanted to buy water bottles, so we found this store with the brand they wanted. Bros. So I browsed too, my bottle had a crack, which i had no idea how it came about. So i bought myself one 750ml bottle and another one, the WWF one for my sis, since she's supporting. And i thought it was cute. They were quite cheap, around RM15 only. the WWF had 20% discount some more, so it costed me around RM12+ only. Good buy.



Then we went to washroom before leaving. I saw this machine. ^^

a drag

i don't see the significance in some the assignments given to us, really. What's with asking us to write up a journal of our seniors' thesis >.< I mean seriously!

This raya, i am burdened with two assignments. One is as mentioned above, the journal and another is a presentation of another journal. I don't get that one either.

I was hoping for a good, relaxing raya this time around coz it's been real busy during the normal days of uni and labs. My mood was great before the hols and then the week JUST before raya, the lecturers squeezed in these stuffs for us to do. I have a presentation (group though) next Wednesday. And I have to pass up this 15 pages of journal one week after raya. Next Monday, I have Japanese mid semester exam.

I am not enjoying this holiday anymore. I have mood swings. Like I'd feel content one moment and then the next, i felt kinda down and moody, like now. Coz I'm starting the journal thing. Jeezz...I'm sleepy. And who says holidays are fun? Ugh.

I am so not going anywhere this time. (oh tiing, I shall make time to go out with you of course ^^) I'm just saying in general, these workload are making me feel like not going anywhere anymore.

I haven't eaten any kolo mee!

And I'm still hunting for shoes! I will, I SHALL make it a mission to accomplish before I go back there. but I'm torn between nike/ adidas and cheaper shoes! I can't seem to find a suitable limit...like i don't know how much should/ should not spend on the shoes. Are they worth it?

perut bunciittt....

hari ni kan raya, so me, mum and dad pergi rumah orang makan la...sis decided to stay back and tidorrr~ so only us 3.

first house still ok, coz it's 2 hours after lunch mah...(we went out at 2pm) so we ate and ate...ada rendang, ada kari, ada biskut, ada lemang, ketupat, dan banyak lagi. Oh soft drinks yes.

So makan la...makan makan makan, and lol it's funny how we went to one house with a gang of my dad's scouters, and they were admiring this one banana tree which is popping out bananas la, dua tandan like that, hanging beautifully on the side of the road and they were like telling the master of the tree ' booking ya...booking, so lepas masak, we come take'. Lol...and someone was like ' ada parang ka sekarang, kalau ada boleh ambik sekarang' haha xD

Then, there's this one who told us the sad story of how his beloved cat died of cancer not long ago, and he took a break from work just to come back and bury the cat. Got prayers some more. Yeah...oh then, we have a short and funny political talk in one house bout the cm.

And in this house too, i had a really delicious cappucino biscuit, coated with soft chocolate on the outside, yummy! And then there's rendang and curry again.

I realized, I don't have to eat dinner anymore. T_T perut dah buncit. Can not, must control. So, yeah basically, that's how the visiting went by and apparently, age doesn't matter when it comes to duit raya! >.< Someone gave me duit raya! haha...

chemicals!~

I smelled chemicals around me as he ran his hands on my hair (now now...don't get the wrong idea here ^^). So back to the chemicals, i don't know how much of that stuff he put on my hair, but that's just the process I guess. And it's also the first time I washed my hair in the saloon. I never wash my hair in saloons before. Never.

And it's also the first time I found out that you actually wash your hair twice. I don't know about people, but me? I just washed it once, like with the shampoo and then only if i feel like it, I'll use conditioner.

Oh my dad sponsored the thing for me. But I paid for the shampoo ^^ I didn't ask him to anyway, but he came to pick me up and when it was done, he just paid even when I already opened my wallet. xD You know, with fathers, it's always the $$ that he'd worry about. I mean in a good way. On the phone, my dad would only ask two things. The first always goes like this:

" So...how are you?" And my answer will always be this, " Like that lorr..." (in Hokkien la)

Then, he'd go " How's your finance? Any problem?"

See what I mean? And then he'd pass the phone over to my mum, who I can totally picture her waiting on the side for her turn xD

With my mum, it'd be lots and lots of nagging, advices and etc...

" Have you eaten your vitamins?"

"Have you bathed?"

"Have you eaten dinner?" (coz I'd either call or she'd call at night)

"Is your roommate in? Are you alone? Is there still people in your college?" (she'd ask at least 5 times IF it's holiday time)

That's the difference between a dad and mum conversations. At least in my case, that is.

Ah...it's good to be home I should be starting on my assignment really...but I kinda got little lazy atm. Maybe I'll start tomorrow. ^^

tadaima!!!~~~

I am finally finally finally back home. It was a long day, seriously. So me and my friend went to Midvalley for lunch around 11am and also to get some other stuffs, as requested by family ^^ And how I love it when there wasn't much people around! Well compared to weekends and such, this is nice! I love it when it's not packed. More space to move around and not as hectic.

So we were dragging our luggage around as we shop lol but it's still ok. Around 1.30pm, we headed off to KL central for the shuttle to LCCT. I slept a little during the journey and the person next to me, this guy he was on the phone, speaking English (he's chinese just fyi) and he sounded kinda fine, you know, 1st impression....till the moment he told this other person on the line that he sent sms to another person (most probably someone who annoyed him very much) sth like " it's none of your fucking business...(and 3/4 more times of uttering the F word). I do utter them like ocassionaly by myself though, like when i do something totally dumb or sth, and it came out as a habit, but I don't say it out loud. So somehow, that one moment had somehow made me think over my first impression of him. LOL...

So around 3pm we arrived and started lining up to check in. This has got to be the LONGEST line I've ever had (to Kuching though). But yeah, lots of people. lots of kuchingites!!! Not that I know them but somehow it's like ' oh people who are close...' but it was a real drag lining up.

Afterwards, we went into the terminal as it was already 3.15pm by the time we finished checking in. But when we were lining up, the operator suddenly announced that our flight had been delayed 30 minutes. So we sat down again...jeezzzz....T_T

Now that wasn't really the worst thing that happened. In the plane, I was super annoyed by this kid behind me who kept on pushing my sseat with his fucking legs and kicked some more. Throughout the fucking flight okay! It's really disturbing and I didn't feel comfortable feeling something pushing my back when I was trying to get a decent nap after an entire day! After we landed, I finally got the chance to see the fucking person who did that to me and i was even more pissed when I saw that it was their mother who was apparently carrying her child, maybe on her lap or sth but like WTF???!!!

And I thought their parents weren't around. The family consists of father and mother and a totaly of 4 girls. I'm not even going to be a racist now but I am totally pissed. I am. It's not becoz of the color of their skin but the fact that they were there to witness the whole thing, the whole kicking thing but didn't do anything to stop their fucking child, pissed me off. I hate those fucking children who were not trained to behave well by their parents. I blame their parents for it. becoz no matter what, it has got to start from there. That brings to the hatred towards parents who overprotected their children which I have seen so many times before. Their children yelling or fooling around in public and yet, their parents close one eye and let them be. If they were so *good* to their offsprings, they might as well KISS THEIR ARSE!~

Fucking shitty creatures. Yes, I have had an entire day of walking and dragging my luggage around me, getting into crowded ktms, and just when there is a chance for me to sit and relax, that stupid fucking idiotic kid had to screw it. So to hell with their parents as well for that.

Oh, I am so done with that. I had a hearty meal with my parents after the flight. We went shopping a bit. And somehow this post isn't as wtf as I had meant it to be.

moving on with a positive note?

Deryck and I have been together for 6 and a half years. We have been friends since I was 17, started dating when I was 19, and married when I was 21. I am grateful for our time together, and I am grateful and blessed for our remaining friendship. I admire Deryck and have a great amount of respect for him. He is the most amazing person I know and I love him with all my heart. Deryck and I are separating and moving forward on a positive note.


Thank you to all my family, friends and fans for all your support.


Avril

(official divorce statement)

Now now now....although a lot of people (the media/press/fans) see this coming. Well, Hollywood couples never really last long anyway, do they? And what's with her getting married as young as 21. But somehow, I kinda felt sad upon reading this news the moment I woke up! I was supposed to be really excited to go home (I still am, just expressing my little sadness here) So, I felt a little down hearing this news coz they looked really cute together! They really do.

I mean, watching them go around town buying household stuffs, trying to dodge any lurking paparazzi snapping their photos and all, it's like they were just trying to have a normal life as a young married couple. But I guess, their love just died down. It's kinda ironic how just few days ago, I was like thinking...they managed to pull it through all the rumors these years and proving that they're still together. They were SEEN still wearing their wedding rings even! I guess both of them will have to laser off their small tiny tattoos that have a heart with their initials in it.

Sigh...but you know, they did last pretty long together. And they WERE very much in love together. But then, what's the point if you're not THAT much in love anymore with each other? It's like a breaking point which you have to figure out what's best for both. And since I've never experienced *love* before, I shall never know what it's like to figure out the point where you say to yourself and your partner " ok, this is it. We need to really think this over and make up a decision." Must be a damn hard thing to do. (I mean, IF both didn't have a fight but just fall out of love) It's a totally different story if both had a huge fight or the guy/girl did sth nasty or whatever.

But I think judging from their statements, they both ended up nicely and calmly without exchanges of blows or harsh words. T_T Ah, sad really. I was surprised to hear their wedding news back in the days really, but after seeing them together for so long, I was rooting for them. I really rooted for them.

but sometimes, if old things don't go away, new things don't come around. Seriously, I can't really imagine how it'll look like if Avril were to go out with some other guy soon. It'd look awkward for me. Unless that guy is much more reputable and handsome lol.

No wonder the album's been pushed back to early next year. Apparently, a source said that she's re-producing some tracks which were initially produced by her ex. It's ok. With this, she'd have more experience managing her own tracks. I just hope it'll be good.

One last thing- is it just me or her divorce statement is kinda sweet and romantic? I mean...it's a nice read. All about when they started out dating , then getting married and all. @_@

People do change. I've come to realize the fact. What makes it different is whether she/he's going to the better or worse. I hope she's heading to the better side of it. Not really fond of her recent style but since I was a fan from the year she came out, I shall still support her. ^^

piccies #1

So just few pictures of the things we have around here. Autoclave machine. This is where we send our things like unversal tubes, mediums, falcon tubes, tips and etc...to autoclave, basically to kill off microorganisms so the things are sterile.


This is how Nasi Goreng Pataya looks like, it's well....fried rice and covered with fried egg on the outside. This was my lunch. I'm OUT of things to eat seriously. It's always nasi goreng that and this...so, it's kinda pathetic really. So, sometimes I don't eat rice at all.


This is how a Chinese Burge looks like. A friend helped to tapau from Cheras Pasar Malam last night. My supper was 2 of these. Was so damn full! But i gotta try! Not bad really, it's got 3 layers. the top is egg, then bottom is like kuih thingy (not entirely bread) and meat sandwiched.


In the lab, we use tips like these for pipetting. Pipets are the things below. we use them to take specific amounts of solutions or chemicals.

This one here is a Thermomixer. We put tubes into the small holes either to incubate or whatever with our solutions and it'll shake with the the temperature we set up.

This one is when we're running gels.

The stuffs we do in the lab....basically.

home is near!!!~~~

Today is very laid back, partly coz we only have 1 hour class this morning and then I went to the lab just to see my culture and keep them in the Cold Room. Then, me and another 2 coursemates had lunch at our college cafe, which was very very quiet by the way, apart from a few groups of Chinese eating. Even the Kedai Asas and printing shop have closed down for Raya hols.

Took some $$ out for tonight. When the $$ pops out from the machine, my heart sank a little coz I was anticipating the new RM50s to come out, instead all I saw were the OLD ones. Few weeks ago, I got the new ones. Although my first impression on the NEW type was not as good, somehow using them gives me a good feeling, like you're up to date or something. Whatever it is.

Anyways, no more classes to attend. And a lot have already gone back. Tonight, we'll go 1 Utama for dinner and maybe a brief window shopping, if we have the time, since we have to come back. Well, we don't have curfew in our Uni but since my friend's driving, it'd be wiser to try to reach here around 12am or so...not too late.

My roomie will head off to Genting this evening, so I'll be alone tonight. Which doesn't bother me. My 'LONE TIME' is HERE!!! Yay! Besides, I'll be leaving around 10am tomorrow.

Me and another Kuchingite coursemate will go to Midvalley first for lunch and shop a little for some stuffs to bring home and then take the AirAsia shuttle to LCCT for our 5pm flight. Oh yeah...I'll have to remember my masks! yes, airports give me the creeps since there'll be lots of foreign people who flew from God knows where, so it'll be safer to wear masks throughout the journey.

What else...I guess I'll have a short nap first later since I slept late last night. Then around 4pm we'll head to 1U. ^^

time flies 2

yes, I know I'm totally thinking bout nothing but home now. can't blame someone who hasn't been home for months now right? I'm not exactly a homey person, truth be told, well doesn't mean I'm totally independent either. I'm kinda like the lone person who needs her 'alone' time MORE than the 'together' time, maybe 60/50% kinda ratio. I like company of coz, but only IF the situation is right. Why the hell am I posting about this anyway? I should be talking bout the 'going home' issue.

But first today's workload:
1. went to lab, did some work
2. attended class, but sat at the back coz we arrived 30 mins late (was doing lab work) and so didn't listen
3. went back to lab to finish up some stuffs
4. went to lunch outside (had Wantan Mee)
5. Japanese class
6. NOW---> browsing net and etc...

Tonight:
1. Finish up Japanese homework
2. Update my Log Book
3. net net net....and sleep!

Rumor has it that Friday's class is canceled. Of course, I hope so. I mean, i don't think anyone would really have the urge to attend the class anyway. Everyone's packing and rushing home!

Thursday, we might go out somewhere for dinner. friday is the DAY that I'm looking forward to, really.

Oh I should have a nap later, my head hurts. @_@ And I took the wrong bus just now as I was rushing back to college after J-class. And so I had to climb up the hill back to college. It wasn't actually as tough as I thought it'd be, but doing under the hot- unforgiving sun was definitely tormenting my legs and soul. Yes. I was out of breath by the time I reached my room. Oh, tonight my roomie is gonna cook so she invited me to join in with her friends. Not steamboat though but to eat chinese cooked meal is good enough for me. ^^

oooah...time flies!

Monday is OVER! (well, almost anyway ^^) Tomorrow will be fast too. You go sleep tonight and then it'll be 8am----> go lab---> phoosh! ---> LUNCH! ----> go Japanese class-----> whooosh! ----> 4pm! ----> go back room---> dinner----> sleep and VOILA!

WEDNESDAY IS HERE! (after tomorrow though)

But yeah, my point is time really flies when ur busy xDD Yesh yesh! ^^

^_^"

Finally finished my Nutella. I had a slight flu and my throat feels bit itchy. I wonder if that's a sign of flu or cough. But ah, whatever. waiting for Friday to come so I can go back and eat some healthy food. Those that are not spicy and good for my mind. that's all for today. xD

constipation

I should eat 3-4 apples a day and if that's not enough, I'll eat bananas too. And papayas. Veggies!!!! And sigh....why must Avril's new album only released EARLY next year? There were all these rumors that it'll be out by November, damn it. If it's in November, then it'll be like double celebration coz it's my birthday month!

But ah, whatever. At least I still have DAI's new album out by the end of this month to look forward to though i'm not gonna buy it. Waiting for the new tour DVD ^^

this place

is empty it's so tempting.

I'm bored out of my skull, i need something HUGE, i need CHANGES in my life. I need FUN in my life. I need EXCITEMENT.

ANYTHING!!!

fairly good

yeah so I had a fairly good day today. I just need to grow my competent cells next week and hopefully they will grow beautifully!!! ^^ And make my transformation work.

Anyways, i've been spending week by week going to lab from 8am+ in the morning till around 5pm almost EVERY SINGLE DAY. I am exhausted. Yesterday was almost the breaking point for me. Well, since I had a wtf moment, I was like " crap and hell, my work for the last few days were useless?!" So, yeah but it's ok. Lab is never perfect from the start anyway. You gotta repeat and repeat some processes till you get what you want.

Or so I've learnt.

And I think I'm having a slight flu now. Yesterday I was feeling really crappy since the wtf moment and tired becoz of staying outside the whole day, with the unforgiving weather----> it's only normal I felt like crap.

Today was fairly good, thank god. So, here's to next week! Oh....time please fly faster so I can reach home and eat home-cooked meals and sleep well an do whatever hell the things I've listed.

lai i also WTF

So you see, I just had a WTF moment when I realized for the last few days, I have been doing something wrong in my lab works. I was supposed to do something separately but oh since I was always so BLUR >.< I mixed them up and now I have to go back a few steps and re-do the procedures.

Things like these take time ok, i mean, I was hoping to at least finish up to 70%-80% of my entire thesis work by the end of this semester but it looks like I'm stuck around here becoz of some fucking silly mistake. Pardon my language, I mean, having a WTF moment la now, so gotta give me some space to EXPLODE a bit.

I'm not blaming anyone on this but ME. Yes, wtf have I been doing?

Urgh....I have to run the gel again tomorrow and purify the contents. ~ I'm sooo skipping this one class in the middle tomorrow. It's so annoying like that lying there in the middle of the day. Or maybe I'll call someone help me sign. Coz seriously, I don't listen anyway when I'm there. I'd be better off doing some progress in my lab rather than listening (or not) to a lecturer who I never can understand ever since the first day. So WTF right?

So the fuck with the all those wasted time and energy since last week. And the fuck with my BLURITY for not realizing the silly mistake.

Ok, I'm done wtf-king.

I should look up for the brighter day now. Tomorrow will be a good head start. And I SHALL NOT BE fucking blur again.

so there goes my wtf post. *_*

oversleep?

Seriously, I find I sleep a LOT, like not just a lot but the abnormal kind of LOT! during weekends. I'd stay up till after midnight, doing whatever I do like online, or watching some dramas...and then I'd sleep till it's 10+ in the morning.

Then, i'd eat some light stuffs, then GO BACK TO SLEEP. Now...is that NORMAL? Definitely not for me. I don't do that at home, I don't do nearly that much before. Must be the weather and lack of GOOD FRIGGIN FOOD AROUND HERE>

I am deprived of nutrients that would wake me up. My brain's getting rusty. And all I could think of as of now, is for Friday to come and go back home. (Another two weeks though). But I am being really lazy these few days. Come next week though...I'd be busy. T_T

Anyways, I found myself a good relaxing song to listen to. Not to mention it's sweet.

I've been beaten down, I've been kicked around,
But she takes it all for me.
And I lost my faith, in my darkest days,
But she makes me want to believe.

They call her love, love, love, love, love.
They call her love, love, love, love, love.
She is love, and she is all I need.

She's all I need.

Well I had my ways, they were all in vain,
But she waited patiently.
It was all the same, all my pride and shame,
And she put me on my feet.

They call her love, love, love, love, love.
They call her love, love, love, love, love.
They call her love, love, love, love, love.
She is love, and she is all I need.

And when that world slows down, dear.
And when those stars burn out, here.
Oh she'll be here, yes she'll be here,
They call her love, love, love, love, love.
They call her love, love, love, love, love.
They call her love, love, love, love. love.

She is love, and she is all I need,
She is love, and she is all I need,
She is love, and she is all I need.

Great song. Simple but rings true. I should go to sleep with this song xD lol ^^

more procrastinating?

yup yup, been chilling since yesterday night! I tried to make some progress on my poster but when I got a call about my dental visit being changed to today afternoon (it was supposed to be tomorrow) so, my aunt came and picked me. 1 hour and half later, I came out with a new 'crown' aka. fake tooth. Well, it's not 100% fake since my real one is well-hidden and well-protected underneath the cap. And it looked damn real that you'd not realize that it is a 'cap'. ^^ With that, it's the end of my dental visits. It's been what....like 3-4 months?

I gotta start continuing my poster and assignment editing, both of which are due next week.

Also, got a sms from my sis saying she's visiting next month to KL, celebrating her bf's birthday here, asked me out on Friday night, invited me to club whole night till the next morning. LOL...I told her I don't club. I'd be like an outcast or sth, it'd be awkward. I don't dance, I don't drink. her reply was short and she made a point with it though.

' LOL....learn lo...'

T_T I guess i'd make the effort to go with them since it's rare having them around here. (besides, the plan might change) xDDD

laziness creeping in @_@

feeling sleepy but refuse to lie on the bed. It's just weird having to sleep early on a FRIDAY night. Seriously, it just feels so so so WRONG to sleep early! Tomorrow's weekend anyways. ^^ So i shall keep myself awake and procrastinate till midnight.

Yup, I was up at around 7am this morning, went to faculty, went to lab and apparently, I was too early and in order for my culture to grow properly, I need to wait till afternoon to start doing. So, I waited there till 10am for my class, then 11am ate some kuih-muih...and then start working in the lab till around 4pm+. Cleaned up the place, and caught the bus back to hostel, tapau and watched this HK drama. Funny stuffs. xDDD

Then, I did some progress on my poster, due next Wednesday. After a while, I felt kinda lazy to go on and now...am happily browsing the net and blogging. ^^

I guess Friday nights make me just wanna chill and relax. It's been whole day out. Time flies really fast especially when ur working in the lab. And it makes you forget the need to eat too. I ate 2 really small hotdog buns and one small karipap for lunch. And I only ate dinner around 6pm. I felt like I'm puasa- ing with them too lol.

tasks

just finished mid semester exam and despite that fact that I brought my sweater coz I knew that hall is gonna be damn freezing, I found that I didn't have the time to put it on....LOL. See, we arrived just on time to take it, and rushed and sat down...and started writing. I totally forgot about my sweater, sitting on my lap. Still kinda warm, as the cold hasn't settled in.

And so...till the last 5 minutes, I put it on, not wearing, just covering my arms. Yes, that's what happened when you arrive on time and no time to waste.

let's not talk bout tests anymore, shall we? Now, I only have a single paper which is AFTER RAYA hahahahaha....and it's Japanese, so still got time!!! That's not to worry for now. Next week, we have poster presentation. And I haven't even started on it. I have to read senior's thesis and then convert it to poster style and print out and next wednesday...post them up. Sigh...good thing next monday is a holiday!

Oh and I have been planning my schedule during Raya hols at home. Priority is shoes!!! And the others, if got time la. ^^

I miss home. Really. I should go tapau some rice tonight. Didn't eat rice again yesterday. My nutella is finishing too.

things to do back home ^^

two more weeks! two more weeks to endure and it'll be home sweet home. Ahhhh~~~~can't wait. This is the first time I anticipate going to the Friday class on 18th and then I'll be heading home straightaway with another Kuchingite coursemate. So here's just a rough list of things to do at home:

1) Saloon (gotta do my hair, hopefully, it's open on Saturdays and yeah ^^)
2) Shop for shoes!!! despite maybe the lack of choices there, still there are few shops I hope will be able to give me some good choices, both style and $$ wise.
3) Get my ear pierced (haha...just saying, see la )
4) Shop for clothes? Maybe...
5) Some other accessories...xD
6) Get my passport renewed xD
7) of course...Tiing, no, I haven't forgotten you. We'll hang out, hopefully, for tea or dinner ^^

and stuffs...>.<

One week is not enough. NOT ENOUGH!!!!!!!